This blog post came about from recent news – that I haven’t made it through (on my second attempt) to professional counselling and psychotherapy training. Which at first, yeah it was another knock. The familiar depression sinks in (hello old friend) and a bit of a weep.
However, thanks to the great people in my life (and twitter) I have adopted the ‘fuck it’ attitude. Which, considering how unwell I was last year…is quite the achievement. I got up, showered, took care of myself and suspended all the usual guilt I generally have when not being ‘productive’. I napped, spoke with family/friends, relaxed and tried to keep busy. Cleaning and tidying always tends to help with a sense of achievement too I find.
So my stance now is, if they don’t believe in me…fine. What matters most is that I believe in me. So after a lot of theorising and some great support by someone close to me also in the same position…we have already started a new plan. We are applying for next years training already elsewhere. I also have an added option to choose CBT training too…which I may consider.
The good thing is, I am able to keep level with it. My job (that I love and has lots of growth and learning left) is still there and relatively secure for another year at least. I will get DBT training there just no official qualification. But thats okay, the work experience is invaluable.
But the surprising result is…I’ve been encouraged and supported to pursue something creative, a passion, something different and exciting. Which I am looking into and who knows! I should try whilst I am young I guess, even if I have no confidence in it nowadays being out of practice. But its something that makes me feel really alive. So we’ll see.
So I guess this post is to just say, if you fail at something or don’t get accepted on to a course or that job…it won’t be forever. You are not alone. It is not just you. And I know someone, somewhere, eventually will have faith in you, but never underestimate how powerful having faith in yourself is.
Take care guys…see you in the next one!