“For the person I was before illness
Hoping for some reprieve and stillness
For the person I was in the past
I hope this feeling doesn’t last“
After that terrible piece of ‘poetry’ if you’re still reading – you all deserve an award or something!
I have wanted to write this post but not really known the words to say. I think I just wanted to put it out there and let it go.
But also to say that anyone else with diagnosed conditions of fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome – it’s okay to mourn the person you used to be before that.
All we can do is our best to manage our conditions and learn through experience and mistakes.
It is also important when to know when to ask for help.
I have been looking online on any courses or support (even through work) to help me manage my diagnosis and learn any positive coping strategies. Often CBT is recommended for fibromyalgia as well as antidepressants, quite honestly I have found antidepressants to help, but I have to accept I will always feel a certain level of fatigue and need rest to feel ‘normal’ or even ‘average’ again.
CBT is delivered in the UK by something called ‘IAPT’ or Improving Access To Psychological Therapies – often they are self refer now than through GP. Even though the waitlists are long, its still worth trying. Anything that can make a difference to how I feel personally, is worth it! Often it takes several sessions to stick through it, at least if you do you know you really tried (just an idea).
Another important step forward for me was being referred to a pain management team by my rheumatology consultant. Although there is a an 8 month waitlist, I am still glad to try any help I can.
Self Help Services have a few courses online and groups face to face that may help – https://www.selfhelpservices.org.uk/etherapy/
I guess I just wanted to offer a glimmer of hope and a voice of support. No matter how bad your days can be, you’re still worthy. This is the same as if you feel there are people who have it worse – you still deserve help.