Since my last blog post around breaking the silence about the last couple of months – the reality of my new path is settling in.
It’s not been easy of course, there’s been more soap style drama – but my determination to start living again is still there.
My relationship ended and I am no longer living in a house renovation – so I suppose there’s bad and there’s good (as no more dust, workmen and untidiness). It ended terribly, but in a way – it made it easier for me to make a clean break of things.
The constant grey has started to shift, colours are looking more vibrant in life again, the small things meaning more, my thoughts calming, the bad spells or ‘dips’ getting further and further apart.
I am still at my job, uni is coming to an end next month and I am living between my place (which I was feeling sad to give up anyway) and my sisters, so the commute is easier during the week and I also have company.
I’ve made new friends, I have started dating again, fixed some burnt bridges and not let online trolling stop me. It’s sad I have still had to have the police involved from my break up, but its been good to make use of all the support that has been offered. I had my occupational health appointment at work also, so I just need to see what comes of that.
I have started to dip again the last couple of days, but the certainly aren’t as low as I have been. I am still appreciating my friends and family more in my life than ever before. I’m eating better and sleeping better so these are all small positives.
I don’t feel that this blog post has much flowery structure as my previous ones – its more stream of consciousness right now. But I guess its a result me even typing all this right now. Again, I wish to start my youtube back up and hopefully feel that once uni has finished – I will hopefully have more headspace and the physical energy with my chronic conditions to put my creative energies back there again.
In the meantime you have this update blog post as well as my twitter which is like my personal diary now.
Take care of yourselves, T x